El Alacran...

A student showed this to me today-



...And I though to my self:
1) How neat! A poisonous arachnid in children's candy!
2) Hmmm... I don't think I've ever eaten a scorpion.
3) What must it taste like?

It was explained to me that:
1) It's from Texas
2) They cut off the poison bit and squeeze out the rest of the guts.
3) "Not very good" as was explained at the end of the day.

Go figure.

Gripe of the Day:



Taggers get on my nerves.
They write on shit that doesn't belong to them.
They write on public toilets?!? WTF!
The worst part is that taggers are wannabes claiming shit that would get them shot out in the real world... Such a sad thing to aspire to.
To make matters worse-





OK! We get it! We knew there was a problem when boys started wearing make-up...

No, really, quit crying on the bathroom wall...
Clean off your make-up, listen to Iniquity and take a look at the real world around you.

This gripe paid for by the Campaign to Catch Taggers and Destroy Them Foundation.

Ninjas and Monkeys...

...Amassed at the local novelty burger place.



It's good to see friends I've decided. They enrich your life, provide entertainment and offer up their children long enough for them to be cute- then take them home.

Lyla, here demonstrates the cute bit-



Note: You also don't have to clean your friends' kids thus making the experience so much more enjoyable...
Almost as enjoyable as...



Sliders!
Rarely can something be made better by making it smaller- Successfully proven by making cheeseburgers into bite-size bits of goodness- thus enabling rapid consumption and utter enjoyment.

All this coupled with loved ones and a few cold ones makes for a good night indeed.

Who'da Thought...

...That a middle schooler, lacking parental guidance, structured home life and all around behavioral support would have taken the reigns and sheltered and nurtured a fledgling hummingbird, found away from its nest, until it could end up here...



So cute...



Middle schoolers across the board have been making me so proud. A rescued hummingbird today. Last week?
A new student showed up who spoke only Vietnamese. So, naturally, the only Vietnamese speaking student on campus offered to help her out in the new and unfamiliar realm of Junior High.
She earned a trip to the Zoo (whence she had never been) with a couple of her buds...



Yes, everyone had a good time.
Including:
Harpy Eagle-



Hyena-



and, Mr. Buddy-



...Who got a BBQ dinner to make him feel better after suffering a near concussion on this trail-



Not bad eh?
Peace

So Over Kids...

Thanks to Eastside Cyclist for providing a framework for working with kids...
On to Friday.
YAY!!! FRIDAY!!!
I believe that children are our future, which is why we must crush their spirits while we can. once that first onset of puberty hits, usually around the 7th grade, all children should be shipped out to the woods. Those that survive are naturally the most fit and can be integrated into society at that point.
I say this because the current crop of 7th graders I battle with on a daily basis wouldn't last ten minutes out in the woods.
On to more pleasant things...
Things like beer.
Beer is good for you.
Jennifer picked this up for me whilst she was at the NSTA convention in Boston-



Mmmm...



From ours to yours...
Have a great weekend.
Prost!

Professional Development Rules!

So instead of going home, loading my bike, shredding some gnar, then drinking some beer...
I am at the San Diego Super Computer Center learning how to use a program called Inspiration.
What fun! With Inspiration educators can develop visual representations of the lessons they want to teach-



I chose to be much more creative however and work ahead with a curriculum I feel very comfortable with.
Organizing your thoughts is a fun and interesting way to see exactly how much crap is actually floating around in your head at any given time.



This is Soooooo much better than drinking beer and shredding gnar... Or drinking beer while shredding gnar?
Hmmmmm...

Blogging for the Sake of Blogging

...Not feeling very inspired today. Soon enough it will be the weekend and I will ride.
Oh yes,
I will ride.

Two Hours...

... Is all it takes to melt away the stress of a terrible, terrible day. As the weather gets warmer the children naturally get crazier and they have been acting crazy since Monday morning.
I usually expect them to start acting stupid later in the week towards the weekend but this week they all decided to start early with the nonsense.
Mmmm...
Bike fix Mr. Buddy...
What a blast. I only ran into two other bikers this afternoon and totally beat the crowd. I didn't even realize what a rotten day was once I was riding... I said to myself, "Self, you're not thinking about work. Good Job!"

One funny thing did come out of a day with 1100 crazy kids...
A teacher, who shall remain nameless, asked our recommendation for a weapon that she pulled off of a student,
"Do I ZT him??"
ZT meaning Zero Tolerance (bring a weapon to school get kicked out).



"This matter will need to be investigated further..."

The Ups and Downs of Field Tripping with Kids

Saturday was a good day. Woke up, made coffee, had a piece of toast and then proceeded to help organize and load 140 middle schoolers onto buses for the annual Magic Mountain Field Trip... Nice.
Magic Mountain is a cool place...
You can Meet new people-



Ride Cool Rides-





Stand in lines!! Woot!



Sit and have a rest whenever you wish... As Jeff graciously demonstrates-



Then, after having sooo much fun all day, you can go and pick up the shoplifters that got caught by the folks from Magic Mountain Loss Prevention-





We warned 'em, several times...
We even warned them that they wouldn't be able to recognize the people in charge of catching shoplifters... Tsk, tsk.




Hope they learned something.

By the end of the day everybody felt like this-



Yay! Buses!

Friday = Awesomeness

Work is a drag... not even gonna get started on that. Life working at a middle school consists of, "Stop that!", "Slow down" and "If you don't stop fighting I'm going to slam you both down on the ground and put my knee in somebody's neck."
I am currently trying to get one of these as part of my regimen for keeping kids safe... All it takes is once.

Moving on-
Happy Hour rules! I cannot imagine a better time to get together with the people you work with and talk about.........work. At least there is beer to numb the senses. And, having had enough beer to drown a small animal your inhibitions are lowered just enough to justify purchases like these-



If the King had had some of these maybe he would have saved himself from the sequin/lycra/Rx drug years a bit early...

Oh yeah! These too...
MMMMmmmmmmarshmallows coated in toasted coconut!
Only in Hell are there more horrid delicacies-



These treats didn't even make it the car ride home before sushi dinner.
Before-


And after-


It wasn't until finalizing the check did I notice this on the specials menu-



"I'll have the Dorifish Shashimi please..."

Extreme Mountain Bike!!!

So... these Extreme bikers can't have take the glory...

Cellphones on the trail are generally a Major Party Foul. But in the case of capturing moments of pure technical skill- it's good to have one with you capable of video...

The Extreme Hill Climb!
Mr. Buddy hammers an incline-



The Dip Of DOOM!!!
James tackles an aggressive drop-



Heh heh...
Give a guy all the technology in the world and this is what he does with it... Sheesh!
Speaking of extreme...

Dude!!!

Remember Anthrax?
I just popped this album in the CD player of my car and it's like,
I'm Fifteen all over again!!!
What is it?
CAUGHT IN A MOSH!!!

Hump Day.

Today was a rewarding day...
No work
Trail time
Free Coffee (almost as good as Free Beer)
Webinar (not really a reward but, still a learning experience)

No work speaks for itself
Time on the trail = Priceless. I wonder though about our impact as Mountain Bikers.
Along my ride today I noticed more than one flattened reptile-



Naturally, wanting to be kind to the smaller things, I felt a twinge of remorse for scaly brothers and sisters. I say only a twinge because, as I meditated on it I realized that, as Mountain Bikers we are actually doing our part to keep reptile populations healthy. It all goes with natural selection... the slowest get picked off- be it by a fat tire or a predator and only the fastest are left to reproduce- thus increasing the fitness of our local Western Fence Lizard communities.
That being said- I return to the Trail.



Being new to this whole Single Speed thing I find that I'm rather enjoying it... The ease of mechanical operation, the connection to the trail, the bragging rights associated with completing climbs in one gear past the other bikers who use their little rings...
My bike did such a great job it got a present too- new Yeti grips in matching red...



Don't worry XC Bike... I still love you.

Then, yet another reward!



Free Coffee!!!



Webinar!!!!



You get the point.



Cheers!

Not Working...

That is, I'm not working -tomorrow- I'm taking the day off to ride and there is no stopping me... Except for a conference call @ 4. Bleh. But whatev right? I'ma be on my bike testing the annoyance factor of my new TSSD (Trail Share Signaling Device).
Sunday whilst riding I had a premonition of meeting another biker on the trail. This temporary ESP was set about by the gentle chiming of some device attached to the head-on rider's bike I was about to meet. And, seeing as how I didn't think to stop him and ask him what clever chime he had installed I decided to build my own...



I used some old Winchester .338 MAG casings I had left over from a trip to Colorado-





Coupled with my sweet, sweet PBR spoke cards- made from real PBR cans- reduce, reuse right?- Time off is gonna rule!